black tea
by RebelzHeart
Summary: Peter has a panic attack and tells Matt about the Vulture. Part 8 in a cup of tea series.


**Warning:** Swearing. Panic attack. Y'know. The usual.

* * *

Matt first finds out when he and Peter go to visit Foggy at _Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz_.

He knows Peter's quirks... he has, after all, lived with him so long. So when they step in, and Peter stays to the side, fingers tracing the walls and scurrying towards the closest windows he thinks, yeah, that's okay. He knows that it's wrong, and he wants to help, but he's alright with waiting for Peter's timing, he's alright with letting Peter learn to trust him more, first.

Then someone calls Peter to go away from the wall of the room and he shakes his head, a thin, probably fake smile on his face as he responds, voice tight and trying not to be, "I'm fine, thanks."

"Come on, Peter," Foggy smiles brightly at Peter, and gestures with his hand. "It's not like the ceiling's going to fall on you."

Peter's heart thumps, _once, twice_ , and Matt thinks _shit_.

 _Shit_.

"It's okay," Matt calls out as Peter's heart pounds faster, "You can stay there."

"No, I," Peter pushes off the wall and scurries to Matt, quick to hold his hand and hang his head despite the fact that they're out in public and Peter would usually be embarrassed by this type of thing. "I'm fine," He says that, but his voice is small and worried and scared and so un-Peter-like that Matt seriously doubts it.

Matt squeezes Peter's hand, gently, and says softly, "It's alright, Peter, we won't judge you if you stay at the wall."

Peter shakes his head quickly, and keeps holding Matt's hands, eyes frozen on the floor. "It's okay," He murmurs, but he sounds more like he's talking to himself than Matt.

Foggy, sweet, kind, Foggy, instantly realizes something's wrong and he stands up and holds up both hands as he says gently, "Hey, Peter, it's okay, you don't have to..."

Peter _drops_.

Fucking _drops_ right there, hand still in Matt's as he tries to breathe but sounds more like he's choking, bent over, forehead pressed to his knees as he apologizes under his breath for having a panic attack.

Matt swears, if he weren't so concerned and terrified, he'd be furious with Peter for _apologizing_.

Why is his kid (of all kids, _his_ ) such a selfless idiot?

"Don't apologize," Matt says quickly as he drops down to crouch across from Peter, listening as Foggy quickly googles how to deal properly with a panic attack. "You're doing nothing wrong. Just look at me, hey?" He pulls off his glasses and gives Peter's hand a tight squeeze, hoping it will do something to help ground him. "Can you breath in slowly? Four seconds, okay? One, two, three..."

Peter's breath is shaky and it hitches every so often, gasping and he struggles for air, but it calms down eventually, Peter breathing and Matt counting and Foggy relaying instructions while he tries his best to help but mostly understands there's not much he can do.

When it's all said and done, Peter leans forwards to rest his head against Matt's chest, and whispers quietly, "Sorry, Matt," and Matt has to fight not to break Foggy's probably expensive desk.

"Don't you dare apologize," Foggy beats him to the punch and answers furiously as he crouches down to meet Peter's gaze. "This wasn't your fault."

Peter takes in another deep breath, slow and shaky and he hiccups a bit, like he might be about to cry but isn't sure if he will or not. "But it is," he mumbles and stares down at his hands like he's trying to understand why they're not mad at him yet.

"It's _not_ , Peter." Matt answers, his voice coming out a bit harsher than he intended to, but the intent behind it works anyways, because Peter closes his eyes, lashes fluttering against Matt's chest as he breathes. "You know that it's not, right?"

Peter squeezes Matt's hand, but doesn't say anything, like he wants to comfort Matt but knows he can't lie.

Matt hates it.

Foggy cuts into their moment with a brusque, "Anyone up for black tea?", though Matt knows it's just his way of trying to cope with the craziness.

Matt squeezes Peter's hand, and Peter says quietly, "Thank you, Foggy," which Foggy makes a face at and mutters something under his breath about stupid kids who don't understand how much they deserve that makes Peter blush, and then Foggy sighs that he'll take that as a yes.

"Some sugar in mines, please," Matt says with a sheepish smile and a bit of a shrug. "None of that fake sugar, though."

Foggy rolls his eyes and sighs something like _of course_ and leaves for a moment, leaving Matt and Peter in a silence that he can't quite identify as either awkward or comfortable. Luckily for them, Foggy returns before they can quite figure it out, and for a while they just all stay huddled there on the floor, sipping tea and trying not to make the whole thing too awkward.

(They fail. So, _so_ miserably. But hey, they tried, and A for effort, right?)

Eventually, Foggy shifts, and he says quietly to Peter, "You know we're here for you, right?"

Peter sips his tea and dips his head into a nod but says nothing. So they just stay like that, quiet and sipping tea, and Matt wishes there were something that he could do to make the sick feeling in his chest go away.

* * *

It's a few days later, when Foggy's over and they decide to have a picnic on the balcony, with a steaming pot of black tea and some cute little sandwiches from that new deli down the street, and Peter's talking about how you can't boil water when you're making tea.

"It makes it bitter," He explains as he pours a bit more tea into his cup and blows lightly on the surface, the steam curling and dissipating like sound in the wind. "So at the hottest, you just wait for it to simmer, and then you should be good."

"That's interesting," Matt notes, and Foggy agrees as they each taste the tea, Foggy making loud exclamations when he burns his tongue and Matt laughing at him.

(The weirdest part of it? They actually mean it. Somehow, Foggy's gotten so fond of this kid that talking about boiling water can seem fascinating to him.)

They talk some more, then Foggy mentions something, and Matt says, "Oh, from our conversation about a... week ago, right?" and when Peter asks where, Matt answers, "When we went to Foggy's office..."

He trails off and they both instantly realize their mistake as Peter's face flickers, and he lowers his eyes with a quiet, "Oh."

They all fall silent, leaving the soft, _oh_ hanging in the air as they all shift slightly.

Then Peter blows on his tea, takes a small sip, and says quietly, "I had a building fall on me once."

What.

"What the fuck?" Foggy demands, and Peter makes a small shifting movement, like he almost wants to flinch but has recalled that Foggy won't hurt him. "And you just kept quiet about this?"

Peter just looks away from Foggy and gnaws on the inside of his cheek, like he does whenever he's nervous. "It wasn't important."

" _Peter_..." Matt's voice is soft, like he doesn't want to offend Peter, but it's firm like he wants to yell at someone, too. Foggy kind of feels the same way, if he's completely honest with himself. "Having a building land on you could have killed you."

Peter looks down at his tea, and his voice cracks ever so slightly as he answers, "I know."

 _He thought it would kill him,_ Foggy thinks, _the kid thought he was going to die under a building, and he still said that it wasn't important._

Why is _he_ the one who makes friends with all the fucking martyrs?

"Wait..." Matt's voice gains a harsher edge as he demands, "Stark knew about this and he's just letting it drop?"

Peter shook his head, quick and almost panicked, as he answered, "Mr. Stark doesn't know about this." He pauses, and glares at Foggy, trying to look intimidating but just looking scared. "And he's not going to."

"He's going to," and there's a bit of the Devil in Matt's voice now, angry and fierce and full of righteous fury.

" _No_ , he'll get worried and he might not let me..."

"You got a _building_ dropped on you..."

"I was _okay_..."

"You had a _panic attack_..."

"I've had it before..."

"You _what_?"

And in here, Peter seems to realize his error. "I mean, I..."

"You've dealt with this _alone_?"

Peter flinches ever so slightly and Matt pulls back, horrified, as he buries his face in his hands.

"I'm the worst," He mutters, "I'm the worst and I'm not fit to take care of you and..."

" _No_ , Matt..."

Peter pries Matt's hands from his face and slips his fingers into Matt's as he sighs.

Foggy takes a picture because he is extremely worried and terrified and slightly angry but this is also an adorable picture and the two don't have that many family photos yet.

"Do you trust me?" Matt asks quietly, hanging his head and closing his eyes. He's focusing on Peter, Foggy thinks, feeling his warmth and listening to his heart and letting his breath brush against his skin. "Or is there some reason you kept it a secret?"

"I didn't want to worry you," Peter answers, voice small and soft and worried and once again Foggy thinks _fucking martyr._

"It's my job to worry about you," Matt says, and he might be laughing or he might be crying, Foggy's not sure, but Peter says a quiet little _okay_ like he understands and Matt makes that little cry-laugh sound again, and Foggy thinks it just might be okay.

He doesn't really know, though.

So he drinks some more of his tea and snaps another photo.


End file.
